"I’ve kind of given up"

those words were all it took. i’m finally waking up. it’s time to move on.


hello tumblr, it’s been quite awhile since i’ve last updated, I finished school a little less than a month ago, but since doing so I’ve been super lazy and doing nothing productive what so ever.

I haven’t been drawing much at all, just a few doodles in my sketch book and that’s all. I feel really unmotivated lately which is a shame because usually I draw so much during my summer break. Hopefully I can get the ball rolling soon.

Since my last update, I finally got a job. C: Myer ended up hiring me although I was so absolutely positive that they wouldn’t. I’m so very, very grateful though. I’m able to feed myself these days and have already bought all my school books for next year which I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to afford this time two months ago. I even was able to afford to go and hang out with friends last week. Having this job just takes so much stress off me, although that may also be partially due to not having school on. My job is only Christmas casual though and my contract ends in February, so hopefully I’ll be able to save enough money to last me throughout the year, or find a job after I’m dropped from the team.

In other updates, I’ve been trying to grow out my fringe since I’ve had them for three years and I’m getting bored of them. Though I’m really not sure what I’m going to do with them once theyve grown out. :\ I really cant pull of side parts/side fringes, since my face looks really off when my hair isn’t symmetrical. 

I’ve just been braiding my bangs or pinning them back these days (though these photos are two-three weeks old) but It does get annoying to do so everyday since I’m used to being super lazy with my hair and not having to touch it at all.

(just casually camwhoring before work~~)

I’ve been wearing circle lenses a lot lately. Usually my bambi grey or my geo sakura pinks. I don’t really like the design of my pinks very much, the brown outer ring doesn’t look as nice/natural as I was hoping. >: I kinda wish I bought the eos candy pinks instead, but it’s alright. The color comes out purpley/brown over my eyes but I kinda like that because it actually matches the eyshadows I’ve been wearing perfectly~~ I do want another pair of pink lenses though :3

But yeah, I guess that’s really all that’s happened in my life recently, really. D: I had a pretty bad day today though which I’ll blog about separately OTL

#personal  #me  #myer  

somehow, i always tend to get myself into extremely awkward situations involving guy friends grabbing at me inappropriately. OTL i dont even know how this shit happens. like, today it started out with him taking my my phone and stuff and then like just harmlessly poking at me whilst i tried to get everything back, which managed to whirl a little out of hand.

idk, it wasnt that bad, i’ve experienced worse before but like, i really cant fathom why its always me that gets into these situations. like, am i just too lax about these things? the guys who do this to me are not even the type to be like this so idk if i’m like, unintenionally leading them on or something. or if its cause he knows these things have happened to me before and that i wont spread it past a very select few friends or do anything that could jeopardize his reputation here.

ack, infact he even told me not to tell anyone about it, and i told him i wouldnt. (you know whats ironic? the fact that i drew a woman cutting through her tongue yesterday) i dont think tumblr counts cause noone follows me/knows my tumblr but like, i really would have noone to tell anyways cause like, my closest friends are close with him and i don’t want to like, taint friendships or anything. i dont wanna be that dumb slut who turns guy friends against eachother. i think a lot of people who dont know me do think im a slut cause i wear more makeup than i should and all my closest friends are guys. i really only have two girlfriends in the whole school and im too shy to try talking to other people. :\

it doesnt help that im currently in the stages of falling for one of his close friends either. :\ yeah, terrible i know. OTL but its the first time ive had a ‘crush’ in years and im trying my hardest to repress the feelings. ahh. such terrible timing and its so uncharacteristic for me to actually like a guy this way. ive only had like one other crush in my five years of being at this school. zzz this shit is so distracting. dramas arent good before exams. 9 more days before my first. excuse me while i lock myself in a room and do nothing but study for the next week.

school is eating me aliveeee. D: ive been going to the library straight after school until 8pm everyday (except today lol) and then studying more when i get home/as soon as i wake up in the morning.

my first exam is in 10 days. ill never be readddyyyyyyyy

/crying niagra falls


just a doodle to keep me from going insane. 

i start way too many things and finish way too little

#art  #digital  #wip  #?  

ono I didn’t end up placing in the contest, but its alright.

Im meant to be watching 1984 for an english project thing, but i ended up sketching/not paying attention.


finals coming up in two weeks. D: i seriously need to study more

#art  #digital  #sketch  

painting painting. ono leaving that hair last cause I can already imagine how much of a pain it’ll be. T___T Gotta finish this today else I’ll miss the deadline. and I have an assignment to start thats due on monday too. OTL I’m always leaving things to the last minute.

I’m so busy these days. final exams in less than three weeks and I hardly have any time to do anything apart from studying. D:

#panda  #kigurumi  #wip  #art  

hooooly crap, what was i thinking? never again will i ever draw this much hair

#art  #lineart  #panda  #phone  #kigurumi  

ono I havent posted anything in like, three weeks;;; ahaha i suck at keeping blogs active x_x

heres a sketch, hopefully i can get this done pretty soon, but I have tons of things I need to study for. D: 

kigurumi shop is holding a contest to win a free kigurumi. (ノ◉ヮ◉)ノ♥ im gonna try enter because my life would be so much more amazing if i had one of those things to study and sleep in. XD not liking my chances of winning though, some of the other entrants have close to 1000 likes D: !!

#art  #sketch  #wip  #kigurumi  #panda  #contest  

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